Testimonies

Peoples' experiences and views on ‘schizophrenia’ or similar labels such as ‘psychosis’.

 

 

It's nothing, it's rubbish, it's not good enough

David Miller
I am writing with testimony for you to use in your enquiry and share with others as a part of the work that you are doing. I am diagnosed with schizophrenia and before that with psychotic disorder. I hate the expressions as they disempower us more than just a little. I feel it is insulting and disempowering to be called these things. We have lives to live without being given a label which seems to do little but attract prejudice and false compassion. I am a Voice Hearer, and that is how I would like to be called, or it said I have a special mind.

The label stripped me of power to self-advocate

Anonymous
I had a nervous break when I just turned fifteen. I had been having issues for a year prior, and then it all came crashing down after my birthday at boarding school, during winter. My parents kept me at home for a couple weeks to see if my symptoms would abate, then sought a psychiatrist. I was then hospitalized because my parents thought I was sick enough. I recall being completely depressed, detached, and removed from reality. The confusion is whether or not I have Bipolar or Schizophrenia.

No one cared about my traumatic experiences

Anonymous

I had been in a relationship where I was assaulted several times. This experience was life shattering. I had trouble trusting men, I was traumatised and grieving but putting up a brave face. I was also suffering from a debilitating skin condition that had covered much of my body. After a period of time I started seeing someone else. To me he was my life raft. When I decided that that my new boyfriend was a little strange and that he wasn't a stable person for me to build a life with, he got a sense that I wasn't interested in him and contacted my family "worried" about me.

Reaching mindfulness through psychotherapy and writing

Lia Govers

I am a Dutch-born woman, who lives in Italy since the age of 20, now there with her Italian husband and grown-up son. At the age of 18, after I left home, I already heard voices for a week, but at that time was still able to stop listening to them. I was very insecure like a child, was not 'grounded' like Alexander Lowen describes in his book 'The language of the body'. I have never been sure of the love of my mother..., felt always like a burden to her. At the age of 20 I left Holland, worked for 1 year like an au-pair and 19 years in a part-time job.

Forced diagnosis is incalculably damaging

Anonymous

I experienced a time of withdrawal and emotional turbulence in my mid twenties. I had a difficult relationship with my family at the time who were not able to accept or understand what was happening to me and consequently referred me to psychiatric services against my wishes. As the interference of my family was unwelcome so was the interference of services at their request. So began an episode of oppression and coercion that dominated my life for the next ten years.

A brutal medical bloodsport

Bogman Palmjaguar

I am the subject of Luke Fowler's 2007 film on 'Bogman Palmjaguar', widely shown around Britain and abroad. I have a developing unfinished website to go with the film. My case shows how i spent decades of my adult life labelled as a so called "paranoid schizophrenic" when persecution found to be real. I have been off all so called "schizophrenia" medication for 38 years in 2013. I faced decades of failed attempts by the "system" to get me under the cover of the label in what became a brutal medical bloodsport.

Does any label make sense in the world at large?

Roy Doré

My son, Paul, was given a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia some 10 or 12 years ago. It's been a long journey for him and his family and friends since then, or a long roller coaster ride that never ends would be a better description from my point of view! Paul is doing ok at the moment, he seems to have found a mix of medication that gives him some relief from "the voices" but they are always there in the background.

Even the best of us are 'messy'

Nicci

I have heard voices for as long as I can remember. This goes back to at least 5 years of age, along with it came some inappropriate behavior and outbursts. I was first given medication for ADHD and from my perspective it seemed to work really well for me but my mother decided to discontinue its use.

Once labelled, everyone sees you are 'delusional'

Paul Nosworthy

I have been labelled as Schizoaffective, I first started hearing voices when I was 14. It was during a time of great stress, fear and pressure when I was abused physically and drugged. I am told that these first few years were the prodromal phase of the condition; a precursory few years where things started to happen psychosis wise, these symptoms went largely unnoticed at the time. When I was 17, I got my first diagnosis of psychosis and first really and genuinely became disturbed because of hearing voices.

Living with 'hallucinations'

Yassin Zelestine

I was a university student in the 1990s. I am mixed race. My living conditions were poor.

When I finished university I went home to my parents and started working in London. I felt isolated and under pressure. I contracted a virus. I was very physically ill, which included auditory and visual hallucinations, and exhausted. Also, I was being bullied by these girls on the train to work. The hallucinations did not go away. Eventually I was taken into psychiatric hospital. I have been admitted three times.

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